My weight loss journey

Well, here is the work in progress. I love it! It's exactly what I had drawn in my head. I am so glad that I decided to go ahead with Aja and this design. It is sore. But that is to be expected. I'm going back in the middle of December to get the color added. There just wasn't enough time last night. But I do love it. It's really amazing work.

Hilarious... yet kinda gross. But still something one must share.

Go here to see what your dinner options could be. I highly recommend the "Do Not Try This At Home" section.

So, a couple of posts ago, I "mentioned" that I was pregnant. And that was really great news, especially at the time. Well, now, unfortunately, I have to let you all know that I'm not anymore. I miscarried over the weekend. Thankfully Don was around all weekend and we got through it together. It was really ugly and tough. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. From all that my doctors have seen, there is no reason for this. They assume with the lack of other factors that there was most likely something wrong with the baby. That doesn't really make it any easier to deal with. But here's the long story of the weekend if you really want to hear all the gory details. I'm tired of telling the story over and over, so I would like this to be one of the last times.

Saturday morning, when I woke up, I noticed that I had some bleeding. I called the on-call doctor, and they told me wait a couple of hours to see if it got better or worse, or if cramping would start. It wasn't a lot of blood at the time, so I waited... and watched. After 4 hours, I noticed that it wasn't getting better. If anything, it was getting worse. So, since we were out and about anyway, we headed to Urgent Care. They called me back right away after I was triaged. The doctor was a really asshole though. He did an exam on me. Don was in the room with me. I had mentioned that I had some serious spotting and mild cramping to the nurses. At the end of the pelvic exam, the doctor pulls out his hand, holds it up, and says "This isn't just spotting." If I would have been able to put my brain around that moment, I would have kicked him right there. Pissed me off! It wasn't enough that I was already in tears over everything that was happening. He sent me off to the lab to get my hormone levels checked. Then it was off to the hospital for an ultrasound to see if there was anything going on, or anything left. The people at the hospital were great. I was so grateful for that after the experience with the doctor. Don and I got to see our little baby. It had a little heartbeat and everything. The heartbeat was slower than what they would have expected. About 86 when it should be 120-130. And they couldn't see any reason for the blood. Not all that great news. But the baby was still there, and still fighting. At least for now. They sent me on my way with directions to take it easy and just hope that the baby can fight it's way through. There is nothing that they can do.

So, I didn't really want to go home. We had planned to go to a King of the Log party, which is really just sitting around Char's house. We went there after we stopped by Cub and grabbed some snacks to share. It was nice to see everyone. I could tell by the blood that something was happening though. So I told Don that I wanted to leave. He understood and we left very shortly there after. When I got home, I confirmed that I had passed what was the baby. It was all done. There were many more hours of cramping and bleeding. And it's still going on. It's not nearly as bad as it was on Saturday night. I thought I might run out of blood then. It was horrible.

But now, it's Monday. And I got to see my regular OB. She is amazing. She's very understanding and compassionate. She understands just how confused I am at all of this. I am very lucky to have someone like her who is willing to look into every option for why. She confirmed that it had nothing to do with me or my surgery. She checked my levels from my 6 month surgery follow-up just to make sure that everything was within the normal range. And it was. So now I have to get another ultrasound to make sure that everything gets out of me. If it doesn't I can get infections and other horrible things. She's also monitoring my hormone levels closely to make sure that they get back to normal. I just hope that this all goes smoothly. She said that we will be able to try again as soon as we feel up to it. Of course, she recommends at least a couple of weeks of healing time for my body. Especially if I have any problems getting everything to bounce back. But it looks like I'm well on the road to recovery at this point. Hopefully the ultrasound will confirm that for us.

Don has been a rock for me. He was way more attached to this "Little Rat" than he ever thought he would be. For a guy who met me saying "I don't ever want any kids." He's pretty much asking everyone possible when we can start trying again. I am so glad that I have a wonderful guy with me to help me through all of these really hard times so that when those joyous occasions come along they mean that much more with him.

Enough self pity for one night. Time to turn in. Thank you guys for all of your thank yous and congratulations earlier. I'll keep them for next time. And I'm sure they'll be a next time.

So now that I think pretty much everyone knows we're expecting, I have Baby Brain. So much to do, and now... a deadline! Ahhh!!! It doesn't help that I'm starting to show already. How sucky is that?!?!?! From everything that I've read it's because this is baby #2 for me, so my body is bouncing itself into pregnancy belly mode faster since it already knows the drill. Oh goody goody for me. Thank goodness I haven't given away ALL of the clothes that are/were too big for me. I should be able to keep out of maternity clothes for a little while yet. Since I don't remember showing this early last time around, I'm assuming I'll be looking like a huge pregnant whale before Christmas. That also means that I'll be just as miserable and missing the sight of my feet by then too. *Sniff*

Morning sickness has kicked in and is kicking my butt. I can't do anything without my world starting to spin, nausea setting in, and dry heaves starting. I'm sure that my coworkers love me right about now. There is no way they can't hear the dry heaving. And there's nothing I can do to keep them from hearing it. I hope they forgive me when I bring the baby in later and they all can oooh and ahhh.

Well, I've been really lacking on updating this blog. There has been so much going on, and they've blocked blogger at work. I don't always have time or energy to get to this at home. But I'm doing it today. It NEEDS to get done.

Bob, my father in law, passed away on Tuesday, October 24th. He was surrounded by his family and cats. It was just how he wanted it to end. At least he's no longer in pain. We were in Hibbing all of last week due to that. The funeral was on Friday. We got home on Sunday.

Sunday was my birthday! Woo Hoo! Now I'm older. Just what I always needed. It was an okay birthday. I got to get home. Start to put life back into "normal" mode. It was a long week previously, and all 3 of us needed our routines back.

On the Thursday before Bob's funeral, Don and I found out that I'm pregnant. That is really good news! We had decided to try when Bob first got sick. Now it's something that will help keep his memory alive. I'm about 7 weeks along, due in the end of June. Just a tiny little bean of a kidlet right now, but growing quickly. I'll be sure to keep all of you updated on how this goes. It should be interesting!

I also hit my 6 month surgiversary yesterday. I'm officialy 6 months out from surgery. I feel great. Everyone tells me I look great. Even those that don't know that I'm pregnant. We haven't told everyone. I had my 6 month check up with my bariatric nurse. After she gave me "that look" when I told her I was expecting, she told me how great I've been doing. I've lost 9 inches from my waist ande 9.5 inches from my hips. I'm only 20 pounds from their ideal goal weight for me. That's some pretty impressive stuff. At least I think it is. She said that I should make sure that I have an OB that is comfortable with my WLS status and will be understanding of the limitations of my food intake. She also said that a good OB will be one that monitors my labs closely. Oh yeah... more pokes. I go in for my first appointment on December 1st. I'll let you know more then.

This is about what the baby looks like now:


Yesterday Don and I met with Aja from Tatts by Zap. She's an amazing tattoo artist that was very highly recommended to me by many people. She's going to be doing a phoenix for me. It will be on my right calf. I'm scheduled to have it done on the 21st. Very excited. Should be uber cool. I'll post pictures as soon as I have any.