My weight loss journey

So, a couple of posts ago, I "mentioned" that I was pregnant. And that was really great news, especially at the time. Well, now, unfortunately, I have to let you all know that I'm not anymore. I miscarried over the weekend. Thankfully Don was around all weekend and we got through it together. It was really ugly and tough. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. From all that my doctors have seen, there is no reason for this. They assume with the lack of other factors that there was most likely something wrong with the baby. That doesn't really make it any easier to deal with. But here's the long story of the weekend if you really want to hear all the gory details. I'm tired of telling the story over and over, so I would like this to be one of the last times.

Saturday morning, when I woke up, I noticed that I had some bleeding. I called the on-call doctor, and they told me wait a couple of hours to see if it got better or worse, or if cramping would start. It wasn't a lot of blood at the time, so I waited... and watched. After 4 hours, I noticed that it wasn't getting better. If anything, it was getting worse. So, since we were out and about anyway, we headed to Urgent Care. They called me back right away after I was triaged. The doctor was a really asshole though. He did an exam on me. Don was in the room with me. I had mentioned that I had some serious spotting and mild cramping to the nurses. At the end of the pelvic exam, the doctor pulls out his hand, holds it up, and says "This isn't just spotting." If I would have been able to put my brain around that moment, I would have kicked him right there. Pissed me off! It wasn't enough that I was already in tears over everything that was happening. He sent me off to the lab to get my hormone levels checked. Then it was off to the hospital for an ultrasound to see if there was anything going on, or anything left. The people at the hospital were great. I was so grateful for that after the experience with the doctor. Don and I got to see our little baby. It had a little heartbeat and everything. The heartbeat was slower than what they would have expected. About 86 when it should be 120-130. And they couldn't see any reason for the blood. Not all that great news. But the baby was still there, and still fighting. At least for now. They sent me on my way with directions to take it easy and just hope that the baby can fight it's way through. There is nothing that they can do.

So, I didn't really want to go home. We had planned to go to a King of the Log party, which is really just sitting around Char's house. We went there after we stopped by Cub and grabbed some snacks to share. It was nice to see everyone. I could tell by the blood that something was happening though. So I told Don that I wanted to leave. He understood and we left very shortly there after. When I got home, I confirmed that I had passed what was the baby. It was all done. There were many more hours of cramping and bleeding. And it's still going on. It's not nearly as bad as it was on Saturday night. I thought I might run out of blood then. It was horrible.

But now, it's Monday. And I got to see my regular OB. She is amazing. She's very understanding and compassionate. She understands just how confused I am at all of this. I am very lucky to have someone like her who is willing to look into every option for why. She confirmed that it had nothing to do with me or my surgery. She checked my levels from my 6 month surgery follow-up just to make sure that everything was within the normal range. And it was. So now I have to get another ultrasound to make sure that everything gets out of me. If it doesn't I can get infections and other horrible things. She's also monitoring my hormone levels closely to make sure that they get back to normal. I just hope that this all goes smoothly. She said that we will be able to try again as soon as we feel up to it. Of course, she recommends at least a couple of weeks of healing time for my body. Especially if I have any problems getting everything to bounce back. But it looks like I'm well on the road to recovery at this point. Hopefully the ultrasound will confirm that for us.

Don has been a rock for me. He was way more attached to this "Little Rat" than he ever thought he would be. For a guy who met me saying "I don't ever want any kids." He's pretty much asking everyone possible when we can start trying again. I am so glad that I have a wonderful guy with me to help me through all of these really hard times so that when those joyous occasions come along they mean that much more with him.

Enough self pity for one night. Time to turn in. Thank you guys for all of your thank yous and congratulations earlier. I'll keep them for next time. And I'm sure they'll be a next time.